i love both you and the german language way too much
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Mittwoch, Januar 29, 2003
i think that a layback spin is simply the most beautiful thing you can do with a human body. I defy the world to find anyone who isnt completely beautiful while doing a proper layback. of course, its somewhat less poetic when im standing there with my leg out in all kinds of crazy overly open-hipped positions with my back straight and my head back, but itll come. it always does.
10:42 PM
Dienstag, Januar 28, 2003
*siiiiiiiiiigh* im anticipating next semseter and I'm very happy. Im pretty much decided on taking jewelry and doing the set theory distance learning course from stanford (thank you mrs honeycutt and paul), and i think they could be really fun. of course, i could also end up stuck in a way too hard or really boring or annoying set theory course, and not liking jewelry or being afraid of mr zeegan (its his class, rihgt?) but i like to be optimistic. with a little luck, all will work out. I'm also going to have Ji (sp???) in my class, which will be good both to know there'll be someone i know in it and to maybe get a chance to talk to her/know her a little more. oh, and just in cas "you" are interested, I ended up with As on all my exams (well, an a plus in german, but deutsch macht spass like that, you know?). Im currently feeling very content and calm in my belief that i dont need any ap social studies and multiple ap sciences to get into college, and after taking stock of myself within my reasonability and non-stress (college schmollege) attitude towards college this year, I think I manage to be both a well rounded kid and show signs of a passion/focus, jsut by doing what makes me happy. and i think ill make a pretty good candidate with my ok grades and all that and maybe hopefully being captain of at least one sports team and my community service with habitat and gs, and my non-high-school math, and everything, and i dont really have to worry about it, so im not going to, i think. *sigh* if i were on livejournal right now, my mood would be 'liberated.' I dont need to be trying to get my gold award to have fun doing community service with gs and get a lot out of it, and i dont have to be stressing about or planning for college to have a great high school experience. *double sigh*
7:07 PM
Montag, Januar 27, 2003
I had a dream last night that I got back my english midterm/capt thingy and i had a 72 on it, and then i was talking to everyone else and everyone was like 'yeah, i got a c, im so happy!' and congratulating me on my 72 and it was very weird and i was very afraid. Its pretty sad I have nightmares about this stupid test, huh? I also had a dream about...well, I was outside of priya's old house (sort of, it was a little different) and i was talking to erin about how i was going to get driven everywhere i needed to go today, and it was like she was staying with my family, or something, because we needed to drive her to several places, too, and I couldn't figure out a way to make it work. so I went up to like, the stoop (how sad would it make my mommy that I am not comfortable in using that word?) rightin front of the door, and my mom and priyas mom were there gardening or something, and then priya's dad came through with like a piece of furniture or something, but anyway , i asked my mom what to do, and both moms were like, 'dont let her push you around, she doesn't have to go to stratford today (which was where she needed dropping off)' and so I went back and it was Priya instead of Erin and then I woke up. Now, if I were JD Salinger, I would juxtapose these two dreams, call them a short story, and pend like i wrote them with some message or coherent theme in mind. bah.
9:29 AM
Dienstag, Januar 21, 2003
so basically i could either get started studying chem, or refresh my memory on a few der die oder das questions and past participles, or go to bed. ill give you three guesses as to what im going to do. yeah, you know it. sleep is paramount. and im a hopeless skacker/procrastinator...that might have something to do with it, too.
9:16 PM
arg ms mazerelli (sp?) basically told me that i cannot make up the first semster and take the second half of spanish 4 h for a half-year credit, regardless of whether i can learn enough spanish to succeed in the class. i mean, i offered to take the midterm as a sort of entrance exam...how can you say that i wouldnt be prepared for ap, or that i wouldnt deserve credit for the half of the class i had taken, if i was keeping up with the work and doing well on all of the tests. this is allhypothetical, of course, cuz i dont know if id actually be able to do it...maybe frey broke with department policy and actually taught something for once. anyway, she basically told me that the reason i couldn't do it was because it would make the department look bad. she said something like 'we don't want to send a message to other students that you can just drop in and out of spanish classes, and that all of that classwork in between was irrelevant.' well, guess what? it probably was! spanish is the biggest joke in existence, and i kind of felt like screaming that to her face. I understand that its a full year course, and that presumably dropping in halfway through shouldn't technically be allowed, but i know its possible, and im almost certain i can do it, and im jsut like, why the heck-monkeys not!? I'd take the stinking class for no credit, for goodness sake, just because i want to be able to go into ap next year and not half to waste yet another full-year class period of my life on light-forsaken staples spanish crap! grrrrr! I've written her a short letter in spanish sayign this in less insulting terms...dunno if ill give it to her or not. then, even if i do manage to work this all out, theres probably no chance of my getting into ballesteros at this point. so maybe i should just give up and take jewelry or something if im not really going to feel comfortable enough in frey's class to practice speaking, or whatever. ist kind of painful for me to imagine going back into that class with all the juniors i dont know. ill have to ask chris fox about what its like. i totally wouldnt mind going into seniors class, tho, is the thing, bc senor loves me and id know todd k and josh from lasst year, and it would all be good. i dont know. watch ill beat ms mazerelli into letting me do this and then decide i dont want to after all that would be just like me, huh? i also think it would be great to go to ctyi this summer. sports psychology in ireland...how could i pass up an opportunity like that!? the scary thing is i might almost do that. maybe not sports psychology, but i really deserve a little ireland in my life, i think. my but this is a long entry. the spanish and ss departments need sever kicks in their respective bEhinds. was i the only one who found the midterm to be absolute crap with no relation to what cahvez taught us (excuse me, DIDNT teach us)? all year its like "you like america? FACIST!!!!!!!!" and then we have to analyze slavery and the mexican war and imperialism in terms of these glowing quotes. I think we deserve a medal for our heroic word-bending, crap-production efforts. i have also decided to give chavez reilly a taste of his own class participation medicine. if i dont know the answer, im STILL gonna raise my hand every time to make a guess, and then if i still get a 90 while others (big d?) get 98s for going 'above and beyond' ill sue chavez's pants off in social studies department court for descrimination against the stupid. sometimes peoople just dont appreciate that common decency regulates how often one can speak in a single class period. *sigh* chavez, chavez, chavez.
8:59 PM
Montag, Januar 20, 2003
maybe i should, like, study or something
2:29 PM
after watching some of our friends go through tehir first relationships and such things, i think i need a boyfriend even less. more trouble than their worth, the scum bags (and yes, i meant to speel their like that-their trouble is greater than their worth, you see?). Emmy wrote a song about this, once, i think...wish i had that right now. i wonder if this is why im thinking of taking 'women and us social reform' next year at cty...kind of a girl class, dont you think :P? although i was talkin to jenny and sort of realized that any guy who signed up for it would either have to be a dr. k -esque wannabe girl, or a complete jerk who wanted to be surrounded by girls...that last could be fun, hto, we were thinking-think of the smackdown! i could make a movie about it: fifteen feminists and a jackass.
1:03 PM
Sonntag, Januar 19, 2003
been thinking a lot about rape, in the past couple of days, for various reasons, and there's on thing that i keep coming back too. its like, no matter what your views on abortion and reproductive freedom and such things, and even in the most fair and gender-equal society, its like there's this terrible sexism inherent to life because a man can rape a woman but a woman can't rape a man. I don't really know if its something guys can understand...it almost seems like thats the most fundamental gender difference, and the root of any others, though thats not true, but it certainly is right there at the biological roots of everything. its unfair and horrifying and weird. life is weird like that. *shudders*
11:07 PM
Freitag, Januar 10, 2003
life is seriously weird. have you ever noticed this? im sure you ahve. I'm a little sad right now...i jsut hope everyone knows that i miss and love y'all like, well, a 'mo'. somehow that does not sound right coming from me, does it? I even love the ones with whom i can never seem to connect, the ones whom i dont understand, and the ones who don't love me. life is weird like that, but kind of cool, too, i guess, huh? some song lyrics that have been seeming quite profound to me recently: I don't mind you coming here/ and wasting all my time/ cause when you're standing o so near/ I kind of lose my mind. (it's not the perfume that you wear/ it's not the ribbons in your hair) i don't mind you coming here/ and wasting all my time. does that affect yu as it does me? i wonder. ps sammy sags has definitely got some sort of interest in hangingt with the germans+rebecca. have you noticed this, cindy? pps i have to go to sleep now fory track meet tomorrow(gonna try to make fcias in the 3200!). pps if you're reading this then it definitely means i love you very much. think about that one.
10:41 PM
Donnerstag, Januar 02, 2003
its so weird how some people can make me so sad and they don't even know it...and its one of those things that's probably never going to change, but it seems so stupid like that. I guess I've always known that all of our friends have things that bother us about them, or that make them difficult to deal with, which maybe is why im so fucking fed up with all of this recent drama. i don't know...i know that there are serious problems going on but a lot of the time people are acting like shit is way worse than it is, it seems to me, and it also seems like our collective attitudes are changing, like its totally okay to talk about each other behind our backs, like what we've always done in terms of 'analyzing' each other, or whatever, has slowly been morphing into making assuptions and accusations about each other, without any direct conversation or confrontation. i wonder if group therapy would even do any good...though i suppose we need it if we're incapable of actually talking TO each other istead of just ABOUT each other...i dont know...obviously im making a big deal out of this right now because that's how rants work, you see, but this is actually some shit im thinking quite seriously. so, yeah, im upset because i feel our group of friends moving towards the fifth grade airheads' cattiness and crap level, and it seems like lots of these problems (if there really are any problems at this point, and not just a residual feeling of wrong-ness...i dont really know where everyone is, honestly, and so this is rahter out-dated, but i needed to say it because it's been brewing in my head for weeks) are exaggerated or imaginary, and others are serious and either not being dealt with or being dealt with poorly, and also because i dont know how to be of help to soem people who, i suspect, are rather highly unhappy or having some less than smooth times, and ALSO because of the thing from the beginning of the article that's making me sad.
7:04 PM
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